“The world will know that free men stood against a tyrant, that few stood against many, and before this battle was over, even a god-king can bleed.” – King Leonidas, 300; the film adaptation of the Battle of Thermopylae.
Highly disciplined and trained to be warriors from a young age, Spartans were one of the most feared military forces in the Greek world. At the height of Sparta’s power between the 6th and 4th centuries BC, it was commonly accepted that “one Spartan was worth several men of any other state.” Their’s is one of the most widely respected military cultures that has ever made its presence felt on Earth. Which is saying a lot, considering the human propensity for violence.
But beyond what we’ve all seen in movies like 300, what went into creating this singularly impressive nation? Here are a few things you might not have known about these legendary warriors.
48. Birth of a Nation
The iconic Spartan army was the brainchild of a legendary lawgiver named Lycurgus, who referred to Sparta as having “a wall of men, instead of bricks.”
Imagine the Great Wall of China, except instead of a stones and mortar piled up in front of you, it’s thousands of absolutely ripped Spartan warriors who have been trained since birth to specialize in murder. That was Sparta’s primary method of self-defense.
47. Early Enrollment
The Spartans had a ruthless reputation around the ancient world. And it says a lot that their absolute efficiency when it came to warfare is still so widely known today.
But a reputation like that does not come easily.
All Spartan citizens were expected to be professional soldiers, and children were removed from their homes at the age of seven to begin training.
46. Not Above the Law
Even though the kings of Sparta came from royal bloodlines, they were still judged as civilians and held to the same laws of the community.
Before we go forward, and start to see some of the less-tasteful things that characterized Spartan culture, let’s take a moment to appreciate how forward thinking that was. Most historical monarchs enjoyed lifestyles and powers similar to those of a Galactic Overlord. Good for the Spartans, keeping things equal.
45. Pumping Iron
Pursuit of material wealth was discouraged by Spartan law, so coins were made out of iron instead of gold or silver. This made stealing difficult, because iron is heavy. Also, good luck outrunning the Spartan you just robbed.
44. Beauty Standards
Being a little bit chubby was not an option in Sparta.
Spartan warriors were expected to be strong and fit and, every ten days, young men had to stand naked in public so their bodies could be inspected. Those who failed to meet standards of physical fitness were beaten and censured.
43. Ancient Fat Shaming?
Soldiers had strict diets because they were focused on remaining physically fit as both a point of pride and to avoid beatings. Anyone who was overweight was ridiculed in public and at times banished.
42. Fighting Tooth and Nail
During the famous Battle of Thermopylae, the events of which were depicted in the film 300, Spartan soldiers continued to fight despite losing their weapons, resorting to using their nails and teeth in an attempt to bite and scratch their way to victory.
41. Runaway Baby
Cowards were not treated kindly in Sparta. They would have to give up their seats to non-cowards and often would not be able to find a woman to marry.
40. Justice is Blind
During the famous last stand against the Persians in Thermopylae, a Spartan named Aristodemus suffered from a disease of the eyes and was too ill to fight. When he returned to Sparta, he was branded a coward. A year later, he fought at the Battle of Plataea and shed the brand of coward… by dying horrifically.
39. The Punishment Fits the Crime
According to Plutarch, another punishment for cowards was that they had to “go around unkempt, wearing cloaks with patches of dyed cloth, and with one side of their beard shaved.” So cowards were punished by being forced to be hipsters.
38. Preparation is the Key to Success
Like armies in other Greek states, the Spartan army was infantry-based and fought using the phalanx formation. They didn’t introduce any real innovations to the formation, but their constant training and discipline just made them better at it.
37. Shields Up!
Shields were of very high significance, and a soldier who lost their shield was severely punished. This was because shields weren’t seen as just there to protect the individual, but there to protect the entire army.
36. Hide Your Delicates
Although in films, Spartans went into battle with bare chests, in reality, they often wore full body armor because they weren’t movie stars who wanted to show off their abs. That said, Gerard Butler did have exceptional abs.
35. It Ties the Outfit Together
The armor they wore was the same hoplite equipment used by their Greek neighbors. The only difference was the crimson tunic and cloak.
Achilles, as portrayed by Brad Pitt in Troy.
34. Pride and Joy
The crimson color of their robes was symbolic of the pride they had in the women of their community. It was also meant to cause terror in their enemies.
33. Stupid Hippies
Spartans were also famed for having long hair. To the Spartans, long hair was the symbol of a free man. Of course, to other Greeks, by the 5th century, long hair meant having pro-Spartan sympathies.
Personally, I would have grown it out. Given the choice of which Greeks to impress with my grooming habits, I’m going to go with the murderous war machines.
32. Finding Dory… In Your Face
The Spartan’s main weapon was the dory spear, which was 7 to 9 feet in length with a wooden handle, an iron spearhead, and a bronze butt-spike for counterbalance.
You may have noticed this tidbit in the acclaimed historical documentary, 300.
(Just kidding, 300 is many things, but historically accurate is not one of ’em.)
31. Butt What?
The bronze butt-spike, also known as a “lizard-killer,” was there to both allow the Spartan to stand up the spear up and also to be used as a secondary weapon if his spear broke. Additionally, it could be used to vertically stab their fallen enemies as they marched past them.
30. Death First!
Losing was simply not an option for the average Spartan warrior. Their’s was a culture that revered success on the battlefield, to an almost unbelievable degree.
Similar to Samurai, Spartans were expected to kill themselves rather than surrender or face utter disgrace.
29. Mass Suicide Wasn’t an Option?
The Spartans actually did surrender during the Battle of Pylos during a particularly disastrous fight where many Spartans were taken hostage by the Athenians. This event shook the Greek world as it was commonly believed that Spartans would never surrender.
28. If at First You Don’t Succeed
If a married Spartan woman was childless, the government could order her to do something horrific. They could force her to see if another man could do a better job at impregnating her. Women had little choice in the matter as Spartan law was strict about encouraging new children since they had to keep replenishing the population that they kept sending to die in wars.
27. Brevity is the Soul of Badassery
In the fourth century BC, Philip II of Macedon campaigned against the Greek city-states. Having conquered most of southern Greece, he sent a message to Sparta, which read, “You are advised to submit without further delay, for if I bring my army into your land, I will destroy your farms, slay your people, and raze your city.”
The Spartans replied with a single word: “If.” Suffice it to say, Philip did not attack Sparta.
Philip of Macedon.
26. A Capital Idea
These quick and concise responses for which Spartans were famous are actually the origin of the word “laconic,” which is derived from Laconia, the administrative capital of Sparta. For those like me who were about to Google “laconic,” it means “using very few words.”
The ruins of the theatre at the ancient capital of Sparta.
25. A Slave by Any Other Name
Spartans had slaves known as “helots” who acted as farmers, servants, and generally any other duty that would take Spartans away from their military duties. Helots were usually conquered Greeks and with each new conquest, Spartans would gain more helots.
24. But Who Slave Polices the Slave Police?
The Spartans had a secret police known as the Krypteia who were responsible for keeping helots in check. They would kill any helot found in the countryside during the night and any helots who looked too strong and fit during the day. Perfect for the helot who likes to go to bed early and hates exercise.
23. The Most Dangerous Game
The Spartans would also hunt their helots as part of their training.
That is unbelievable. Sometimes you come across a fact that just utterly shifts your perspective on history: this is one of them. How can their have been a time and a society where this was deemed to be OK?
There is nothing more terrifying than being hunted by a Spartan.
22. Trust Issues
Spartans had special locks on their doors because they didn’t really trust the helots, which is weird, because if you can’t trust a people you’ve conquered and would murder for sport, then who can you trust?
While helots were primarily responsible for agriculture, lower class citizens who weren’t soldiers took care of manufacturing laboring, and other trade jobs.
20. Worst… Salad… Ever
Athens was once conquered by Sparta and, over the next year, over 1,500 Athenians were forced to eat hemlock, which is not part of a balanced and healthy diet.
19. Two Kings to Rule Them All
Sparta had two kings from two different ruling dynasties. Their explanation was that during the fifth-generation, the God Heracles (from whom legend claimed all Spartan kings descended) sired two twin sons. The pair then formed the bloodline for the two royal houses, Agiad and Eurypontid.
18. Chore Wheel
The duties of the kings were limited, but one would travel with the soldiers into battle while the other one would rule from home.
I wonder if they decided which was which with a spirited game of “Rock, Paper, Scissors.”
17. He Was Ready for his Closeup
During the Persian war, the two Spartan kings were Leonidas and Leotychidas.
16. Big Government
The ephors were a branch of Spartan government with no Greek equivalent. Elected from their population of male citizens, the role of the ephor was to balance the role of the king. So if the king were president, the ephors were The Senate, The House, and the Supreme Court all rolled into one.
15. Gender Roles
Women in Sparta had much more freedom compared to Greece. Women would undergo physical training alongside the men, although in their case, it was to prepare for the war that is childbirth.
14. Getting a Head
The only Spartan citizens who were given headstones after burial were soldiers who died in combat and women who died in childbirth.
Which is kind of nice, right? I mean obviously, it’s quite a bit of patriotism. A little in your face, maybe. But they were offering the glory and honor which has always been reserved for soldiers to the incredible perseverance of a woman giving birth. Equality win?
13. A Healthy Marriage
Spartan men could marry after age 20 but were required to live in military housing until the age of 30, so anybody who got married had to live apart from their wives for a few years, which honestly doesn’t sound that bad…
12. Quality Control
You don’t keep your population physically flawless without being disgustingly ruthless. It’s a simple fact: over time, you’re going to have a few kids who are born a little different.
Spartans didn’t stand for that.
Infants were given thorough inspections and if any defects were found, they were left to die.
King Nabis of Sparta used an iron-maiden like torture device that was made out of a mold of his wife. It’s purpose was to force obedience upon those unwilling to take his orders. A disobedient underling would be placed in the device, and the doors slowly shut, allowing the metal spikes to pierce his/her skin. At that point, most suddenly had a change of heart about whether or not they wanted to listen to commands.
But for those who waited too long… death was inevitable.
10. Cool Whip
Spartan boys were flogged with whips for an entire day and would compete with each other to see who was capable of resisting the highest number of lashes.
9. Oops, I Did It Again
Although these flogging sessions were meant to be harmless (relatively speaking) sometimes they did result in accidental death. Which is hardly surprising. Anyone who’s experienced even a mild/accidental belt snap on the skin can testify that it is not a fun time. And that isn’t even comparable to what these people were going through.
You might think you had a tough childhood. And I won’t presume here: you could have had a really, really difficult time.
But I bet you it wasn’t prospective-Spartan-warrior tough.
By the age of twelve, Spartan boys were expected to be able to survive in the wild with nothing. Like, no Internet or anything.
7. Survival of the Sneakiest
Although the boys were encouraged to steal to stay alive, they would be beaten if caught. Which feels a bit confusing and unfair. You’ve got all the adults in your life repeatedly assuring you that taking a little bit of food is not just encouraged, but absolutely essential. But then you try it out, and suddenly you’ve got someone pulling out the spanking-paddle.
We’ll say it again: being a Spartan youth was absolutely not a picnic.
6. Fight Puppets, Fight!
Children were also encouraged to fight at a young age and many times, older men and teachers would deliberately create conflicts between the boys to promote fighting, not unlike a reality TV show.
Except in this reality show, the fights were very, very real. Incapacitating injuries were not exactly rare, and deaths happened.
5. But Don’t Forget to Learn
Children were also coached on reading and writing, and they had to learn battle songs that were sang on Spartan military campaigns. They were also encouraged to compete against each other in various sports (much like in Hogwarts). They also had to give competitive demonstrations in the fields of athletics, dancing and music.
4. Love or Banishment
Relationships between adult males and adolescent boys were common, and often formed between mentors and mentees. However, if a relationship was purely physical, both men could be banished.
Which is an odd stance to take, frankly.
3. A Glass a Day
Wine was popular in ancient Sparta, liked but never to be over indulged in. The Spartans would drink wine with or after most meals, although they typically watered the wine down. Children were warned to stay sober and to thought about the dangers of alcohol. In fact, helots would be forced to get drunk to demonstrate alcohol’s negative effects.
2. My Handsome Wife
On their wedding day, Spartan women shaved their heads and dressed in men’s clothes and sandals. Then prospective brides laid alone in the dark on a pallet, waiting for their grooms to come and steal them away in the night. The groom then snuck into the room, consummated the marriage, and escorted her back at her parent’s home. Done. Married.
Comparing that to a modern-day wedding ceremony almost beggars belief. It’s like comparing apples to iPhones. Not exactly the same thing.
1. Beauty is But a Light Switch Away
Because of the nature of these consummations, many Spartans became fathers before ever seeing their wives in daylight. One can only imagine there were a whole host of awkward, morning-after conversations.
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