These Patients Told The Dumbest Lies

Medical professionals have to deal with all kinds of people, and some of the worst are patients that undermine their own treatments!

Whether these are people who lie to their doctors or who just blatantly ignore instructions, here are 50 patients who absolutely infuriated their doctors!

1. A Corny Problem

Part of my job is dealing with medical records. My favorite part is when you are reading the doctors' notes and you can tell they are fed up with the patients from their tone. I can remember one that made me laugh out loud: “Patient in for routine colonoscopy, asked if solids consumed in 24 hrs prior, patient confirms no. In process of procedure, several dozen kernels of corn are discovered in colon and cannot continue. Patient specifically instructed not to consume corn beforehand as this happened during prior visit.”


These Patients Told The Dumbest Lies


2. I Can’t Move My Legs

One dude lied about being paralyzed after a lumbar puncture. I got a call from a nurse telling me that the patient says he can’t move his legs following a lumbar puncture.

I called the team that did the procedure; they assured me there was no indication of this sort of injury happening during the procedure, but agreed with my plan to get an urgent MRI.

I go to examine him, and the nurse says she thinks he moved one of his feet. Next thing I know he says he can actually move his legs again, but they are feeling weird. Then this weird feeling turns into intense pain. Then comes the kicker: He asks for intravenous narcotics. I tell him no because this story makes no sense. By God, it was a miracle I tell you when this man walked himself right out of the hospital after I refused the narcotics.

Also, the MRI was normal.


These Patients Told The Dumbest Lies


3. The Same Thing Again?

This was one of my favorite things that I wrote during my first year out of medical school: “Please note patient has stated multiple times that he wants to leave and would leave against medical advice.

He asked multiple times whether he could eat, stating he is hungry. Explained to patient that we would like to start a full liquid diet first and if he tolerated it well, would transition to regular foods."

But that was just the start.

“The patient ordered Chinese food delivery instead. Then, patient was complaining of a headache. Was given Tylenol for the headache. Patient stated that this did not help him. His sister at bedside went to the nearby pharmacy and bought aspirin.

Sister did ask whether she could give him aspirin and she was told not to give it to the patient. She supposedly did not.”

And the cherry on top?

The patient had a catastrophic GI bleed...from taking too much aspirin.


These Patients Told The Dumbest Lies


4. I Have No Idea

I had a lady tell me she had no idea how she got a rash she had on her face. I left the room, gave a report to the MD, and when I walked back in with the doctor, she looked at me and said “I didn’t think you’d be coming back in the room”. She then proceeded to confess her dark secret. She’d been cheating on her husband and thought she had herpes. She did not have herpes.


These Patients Told The Dumbest Lies